Everybody back in the saddle! It’s time for part II of my continuing counterpoint to the previously posted movie reviews… from the future!
Tribeca Review: I Have Never Forgotten You
What I said:
A lighthearted look at the everyday life of your friendly neighborhood Nazi hunter and a sneak peek at the inner workings of his beautiful mind. No, he’s not Walt Disney, he’s Simon Wiesenthal. He hunts Nazis. Contains previously unseen footage of Wiesenthal hunting Nazis in the wild accompanied by the handsome narration of Oscar winning waif, Nicole Kidman.
What I say:
Jeez, this documentary was anything but lighthearted. I was surrounded by the sound of anonymous blubbering throughout. And aside from one Asian dude, I may have been the only Gentile in the joint. But that shouldn’t be indicative of who this film’s target audience is, because it will definitely appeal to a much larger demographic. It is slated to be released in NYC and Long Island (AKA Little Israel) very soon and will expand from there. I could see this film getting a pretty wide release and wouldn’t be surprised to hear it’s name come Oscar time. It is a well made, moving film about a great man, and that is all there really is to say. My only complaint is that he wasn’t running around with a whip and a fedora yarmulke, melting Nazi’s faces off, but that’s not a fault of the film.
To think my father lied to me all those years. The holocaust really did happen.
Tribeca Review: Black Sheep
What I said:
New Zealand has had the market cornered on schlocky horror-comedies dating all the way back to the Peter Jackson helmed masterpiece Dead Alive. Granted, there have been misfires along the way (Undead, I’m looking in your direction,) but for the most part, if you want wacky and gory, New Zealand is your man. Now that Peter Jackson has moved on to bigger and… well, bigger things, it looks like Black Sheep director Jonathan King is the heir apparent to the blood spattered throne. And that blood is being spilled by killer sheep…
What I say:
I was slightly let down by Black Sheep. Aristotle was right when he said in his review that the film was not greater than the sum of its parts. Granted, its got some great parts, but it’s like that chick in high school with the great body and the hideous face. You’d check her out at the movies or rent her on DVD, but you wouldn’t want to own her, if you know what I mean. Eh? Eh?!?!? (*Elbows reader in ribs.)
I will say this. It does deliver in the animal hijinks department, of which I am admittedly a fan. In fact, it features the best scene involving an animal, a vehicle, and surprise since Hot Fuzz. A fun little film, overall, but this is the child you wanted to become a doctor who dropped out of medical school to work at a non-profit organization- a disappointment.
Tribeca Review: Taxidermia
What I said:
…Taxidermia is a masterpiece of the grotesque revolving around 3 men in a Hungarian family. It is a tour de force of vomiting, aberrant sex and animal cruelty. There is even a scene where a guy shoots flames out of his cock. I can’t believe this film was made with Sundance money. Robert Redford must be rolling over in his grave. I highly recommend you seek out this nasty little gem of a film.
What I say:
Yeah, I was pretty much spot on with that one. I can’t recommend this film high enough. Seriously, if you have to kill your mother to see this film, I suggest you do so. She will understand. Apparently it is getting a US release through Tartan Films. Good luck with the ratings board, guys. They will butcher this film like the poor pig one of the main characters has sex with while he fantasizes about his boss’s wife and daughters. (That’s sex post butchery, by the by. We here at thejamminjabber in no way condone bestiality, as fascinating as we find it. It’s just plain cruel. Necrobestiality, on the other hand, we are totally okay with.)
Definitely not for the squeamish, but don’t let the grotesque subject matter deter you. This film is greater than the sum of its parts. Taxidermia expertly uses its over the top imagery as an allegory for everything from the rise and fall of socialism in Central Europe to generational differences spanning the 20th century. If you get the chance, see it. It isn’t every day something this provocative and well made comes along.
