Not wanting to devote this space entirely to my self indulgent ruminations on film, I’ve decided to present my opinions in short, tasty bursts. I will be using the Netflix five star rating system (see previous post), throwing in the much needed half star where deemed necessary.
The Neighbor No. 13: What starts out strong with abstract echoes of Persona, Lost Highway, and Fight Club quickly succumbs to the lack of focus that plagues 90% of all modern Asian films. Two Netflix stars.
Alone With Her: Colin “Yes, my father was in Bachelor Party” Hanks stars in this well conceived, insipidly executed take on the 21st century techno-stalker. The only thing scary about this was how bland it was. Two Netflix stars.
The Bridge: When the only thing you’ve got going for your documentary is footage of actual suicides, it might be time to start thinking about throwing yourself off a bridge. Never has such moral grey area been any less provocative. Two Netflix stars.
Vengeance Is Mine: Looks like narrative ADD isn’t a new problem in Asian cinema. Based on actual events, story revolves around some Asian dude who thinks his dad is a pussy, becomes a remorseless killer, shacks up with some chick for a third of the film and then kills her. Remorselessly. Two and 1/2 Netflix stars.
The Three Burials of Melquiades Estrada: If Alejandro González Iñárritu and Cormac McCarthy had a baby, but they were ashamed of it because it didn’t fulfill the potential of its lineage, that baby would be this movie. I’m not saying the baby was retarded or anything. Just a disappointment. Two and 1/2 Netflix stars.
Intacto: Proving that Spanish films can be as slick as the lotharios they are famous for, Intacto is an inventive little film that ultimately doesn’t quite succeed. But I will err on the side of positive due to an abundance of good ideas and the presence of super-Swede, Max von Sydow. Three Netflix stars.
Severance: A British take on ye olde slasher flick masquerading as business satire. Not nearly as witty as it sounds. A promising setup that quickly crosses over into all too familiar territory. Two and 1/2 Netflix stars.
Behind the Mask: The Rise of Leslie Vernon: Smart little horror flick that breaks down the rules of the genre with tongue planted firmly in cheek. Light and refreshing, like a garden salad… with blood for dressing. Three Netflix stars.
I’m A Cyborg, But That’s Ok: No, it’s not okay. This just proves that films starring pop stars are a bad idea in any language. This is the Korean equivalent of David Fincher directing Mandy Moore. Two Netflix stars.
