Kids these days. They just don’t appreciate the value of a nice tight 16 year old snatch. Take Jamie Lynn Spears, for example. She’s barely begun to discover her precious flower and now in less than 9 months it is going to be blown out like an over-inflated tire. It’s like the song says, you don’t know what you’ve got till it’s gone.
And the award for “Mother of the Year” goes to…
And what about the knucklehead who knocked her up? Doesn’t he realize what he’s done? You have your whole adult life to ring the dinner bell, why would you waste your formative underage sex years on it? Congratulations, jerkface, you’re gonna be stuck with an old lady pussy trapped in a young girl’s body. I hope you like cold cuts. Maybe with some Kegel and God’s help she’ll be able to regain a shadow of her former self, but I tend to doubt it. Good thing there’s anal sex.
It makes you think. It’s a shame you don’t start to appreciate the underage trim until you are older, because once you hit 30, you really can’t get away with that shit.
In related news, Lynne Spears’ forthcoming book on parenting has been put on “indefinite hiatus”. Go figure.
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5 responses so far ↓
1979semifinalist // December 20, 2007 at 10:46 am |
you’re right, i take it back.
thejamminjabber // December 20, 2007 at 1:04 pm |
Sometimes I begin to doubt myself, but then you come along and reaffirm my confidence in my ability to offend people. Thank you.
k // December 21, 2007 at 1:29 am |
i hope you are still able to sleep at night.
have you seen the new dave atell special on HBO, it is brilliantly offensive…watch it, you’ll enjoy it.
1979semifinalist // December 21, 2007 at 12:42 pm |
ooh – k – Adam and I saw the Dave Atell Special the other night…it was SO good. But I think the difference here is that Dave Atell, while horribly offensive, is actually funny…josh…not so much.
2007: A Year In Review « thejamminjabber // January 18, 2008 at 7:44 pm |
[...] in content these past couple months, our readership has increased exponentially. On the strength of Jamie Lynn’s vagina alone, we managed to log a record 4,195 hits for the month of December. You’d be surprised [...]