Don’t believe me? Check out these actual customer testimonials.*
“From the very first night, sleeping has been a new experience. You truly appreciate the penis bed when you sleep in a hotel or are a guest in a home where the bed does not have humongous phalli for posts. Fucking prudes.”
Bruce LaDouche – Elderberry Beach, FL
“I love the fact that on some nights my mattress can feel a bit firm, and on other nights it can be a bit soft, but on any day of the week I can be surrounded by rock hard cocks with hand-carved kama sutra images. Thank you for a very erotic sleep.”
Chester Moorecock – Anaheim, CA
“The penis bed enables my husband and I to sleep together. My husband can’t sleep in a bed with a woman without those intricately carved love rifles. He can’t sleep surrounded by anything soft; he needs large, turgid shafts. Before we discovered the penis bed we had to sleep apart, because I sexually repulse him. Thank you for saving our marriage, penis bed!.”
Marlene Weinerschmidt- Crutchmoore, NC
“The penis bed cures cancer.”
Some guy with cancer – Cancerton, USA
*Actual customer testimonials may or may not have been modified to include the words “penis” and/or “bed.”
Hahaha. Nice. The penis bed resurfaces.
WHERE CAN I PURCHASE THE PENIS BED?
It is a one of a kind item, so you’d have to track down the owner, but I doubt they’d want to give it up. It’s like owning a Van Gogh.