That’s right. If you liked it, then you should have put a ring on it. An O RING! Contrary to popular belief, Beyonce’s Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It) isn’t some feminist anthem extolling the virtues of commitment, it’s a warning- if you like your man’s cock, give up the butt!
Jay-Z taps Beyonce's Ass
Think about it. The symbolism of the wedding ring itself is sexual by nature. With this ring, I thee wed. Finger in ring. Penis in Vagina. Now I own you. Beyonce is just taking that metaphor to its logical conclusion. You don’t need a state sanctioned piece of paper to keep your man, you just need to give him some of that sweet brownie pie. How do you think she snagged herself Jay-Z? He’s checking the oil on that formula one buttmobile on a regular basis. Putting your dick between those two luscious mounds of ass-pudding must be what it feels like to titty-fuck God.
Beyonce deserves recognition for giving us a modern-day version of Sugar Walls, but she’s not the first person to go down this (dirt) road. That’s right, as is usually the case, a gay man did it first. While lacking some of the subtlety of Beyonce’s jam, What What (In The Butt) is infinitely more amusing, plus the guy’s a way better dancer.
So for all the people out there who think gussying up their three-year-old like Jennifer Beals in Flashdance and videotaping them prancing around like whores to said song is cute, think again. It is wrong. It borders on child pornography. This poor girl is a future whore. She has no say in the matter. It is her destiny. Thanks, mom. And thank you, Beyonce.
Look me up in 10 years, Arianna.
Charles Bronson has been in jail since 1974. He has spent 30 of those years in solitary confinement, for repeatedly taking hostages and attempting to escape. Previous to his criminal career, he spent a short time as a bare-knuckle boxer. He is a prolific author, having written everything from memoirs to fitness guides to prison survival manuals. He has sweet facial hair. Now he is the subject of his very own movie.
I'm gonna do to you what you've been doing to those kids...
My erection for this film is a mile long. Directed by Danish auteur Nicolas Winding Refn, it is a mix of Refn’s own Pusher trilogy, Gilliamesque cinematography, and Fosse inspired theatrics. The titular badass is played by Tom Hardy, who has come a long way, physically, from the gaunt Dark City reject he played in Star Trek: Nemesis. Prepare to have your mind prison-raped.
First of all, dude’s not fat enough or black enough. They should have got Bill Duke to play Biggie, he’s the blackest man alive! Plus, he kicks ass in Predator.
I LOVE IT WHEN YOU CALL ME BIG POPPA
I’m not the only one who thinks the casting sucks. Word on the street is Lil’ Kim is not happy with how she is portrayed in the film. I guess newcomer Naturi Naughton didn’t strike the right mix of delicate flower and husband stealing attention whore. Michael Jackson looks more like Lil’ Kim than she does.
And who is that dude playing Puffy, shuckin’ and jivin’ like he’s in a minstrel show? Ridiculous. The only actor bringing any credibility to this film is Angela Bassett. She’s like the black Meryl Streep! Unfortunately, that’s not enough to get my black ass in the seat.