Daily Archives: July 31, 2009

BREAKING NEWS: Sex With Dolphins Officially Okay With Jesus

The more active your blog, the more search engine traffic Google sends your way. And here I thought the ranks of delphinics had thinned in my absence, but no, I just hadn’t been writing enough. Since my triumphant return to blogging the inbound search traffic has resumed, and guess what people are searching for? I’ll give you a hint. It begins with a D- and ends with an -olphin sex.

This was the closest thing I could find to a picture of Jesus with a dolphin.

This was the closest thing I could find to a picture of Jesus with a dolphin.

So I was perusing what links people were clicking (with my pants on, I swear) when I came across something interesting. In fact,  I can’t believe I missed this the first time around. The now infamous Sex With Dolphins how to, written by Dragon-wolfe Dolphinn (!!!), is hosted on a page maintained by Dave in Phoenix, co-founder of a group called Liberated Christians. Who are these Liberated Christians, you ask? Only the foremost promoters of positive intimacy and sexuality including responsible nonmonogamy or polyamory as a legitimate choice for Christians and others. Not only that, but they are committed to exposing false traditions of sexual repression that have no biblical basispromoting intimacy and other-centered, loving sexuality (both noble causes) and promoting, it seems, Sybian for maximum G-spot orgasms for women’s pleasure and therapy. Not necessarily in that order. Among many other meaningful articles and a web design circa 1996, you will find links to video of Carmen Electra riding a Sybian on the Howard Stern Show. Praise the Lord!

The Coen Brothers Come Out of the Jew Closet

Between this and their upcoming Yiddish Policemen adaptation, the Co Bros are really getting their Heeb on.  This isn’t your typical give-everything-away trailer narrated by Don LaFontaine- In a land overrun by Jews- this is a skillful construction that suits the film and gives a good indication of its tone. Thankfully, it looks to be less Intolerable Cruelty and more Barton Fink.

A Serious Man will be having its world premiere at this year’s Toronto Film Fest. Those lucky Canuck bastards. Do they even have Jews in Canada? Aside from David Cronenberg?