As of exactly 1:36pm on July 28th, after I had already suffered through her book about how great it was, Anne Rice quit Christianity (via Facebook) for Christ’s sake. I’m sure Jeebus appreciates the gesture. No word on whether the famous author has quit being crazy as well. I tend to doubt it.
Who the fuck brought me this room temperature Tab?
Unfortunately, her memoir, Called Out of Darkness, is a total snooze. I went in expecting fire and brimstone, but all I got was the literary equivalent of a glass of warm milk. I wanted Sodom and Gomorrah, but I didn’t even get Hooters. Someone’s come a long way since her irate Amazon.com days (click HERE for the crazy.) I blame Jeebus. You can find my thoughts under the usual rock- ChuckPalahniuk.net
Oh, and Anne, if you’ve taken umbrage at anything I’ve said, I’d love to hear from you.
UPDATE: Looks like someone’s taken umbrage. Check out THIS post on ChuckPalahniuk.net’s Facebook page. (You might have to scroll down.)
UPDATE UPDATE: Wow. Looks like someone’s getting all antisemitic on my ass. And I ain’t even Jewish!
UPDATE TO THE 3RD POWER: Bwahahaha… huh? It’s all part of my fake Jewish agenda.
Posted in Books, Opinions Are Like Assholes, Reviews
Tagged Amazon.com, Anne Rice, Anne Rice Goes Crazy, Blood Canticle, Called Out of Darkness, Catholic Bashing, Catholicism, ChuckPalahniuk.net, Goth Fatties, Hooters, Jeebus, Tab
All the world’s a stage, but Hollywood, specifically, is some bizarre mutation of The Truman Show where the players are aware they are putting on a show while the observers are not. I postulate this- Hollywood life is entertainment. And I’m not just talking about reality TV. It should be obvious to any idiot with half a monkey-brain that that shit is a put-on. No, I’m talking about the day-to-day lives of so-called “celebrities” and socialites. Why make a movie when your life is a movie?
Take, for instance, the recent exploits of Lindsay Blohan and Mel “raped by a pack of n*ggers” Gibson. You can’t make that shit up. People can’t be that stupid. (Can they?) Hasn’t it ever occurred to anyone that this might be one gigantic stage play? They’re all in on it. The celebs, TMZ, the courts, the police- every one of them a professional actor. Hollywood is a postmodernist construct, providing vicarious next-level thrills in a world of cinematic decline. The only way to deliver pseudo-realism on such a grand scale is to substitute life as medium. It’s basically the real life version of Synecdoche, New York.
Not to get too topical, but the current Lohan court drama is so histrionic it borders on satire. She tweets about U.N. policy on torture, compares herself to an Iranian woman stoned for adultery, writes fuck U on her fingernail then displays it in court, calls the judge a fucking bitch, cries to her friends about how she’s not going to jail, drives her lawyer to quit- how could it not be scripted?
Then there’s good ole’ Mel, AKA SuperRacist. I won’t run down the list of quotes (you can find them HERE), but suffice to say a line as brilliant as, I am going to come and burn the fucking house down… but you will blow me first, had to be written by a talent the caliber of a Mamet or a Tarantino. It’s misogyny as pure poetry.
No Foot Big Enough
If Hollywood is Truman, who is the Christof character in this situation? It can’t be Harvey Levin, that’s too obvious. There is probably some god-like executive in the sky who only communicates through a sightless intercessor pulling the strings. Like The Architect in The Matrix Reloaded, only less annoying, or The Great and Powerful Oz. It’s the only explanation. Otherwise, existence is just a dream within a dream inside a retarded dog’s head.
Posted in Celebrity Shit Heads, Current Events, Entertainment, Film, Racism
Tagged Hollywood, Jim Carrey, Lindsay Lohan, Mel Gibson, Peter Weir, Postmodernism, Super Racist, Synecdoche New York, The Matrix, The Truman Show, TMZ, Wizard of Oz