There is a bizarre new fetish bubbling beneath the placid surface of gay counterculture- Humanimals. This is some creepy-ass shit where buff dudes in zoo creature makeup flex for the camera like Mad Cobra. It feels like the unwanted result of a back alley gang-bang between bestiality, furries and cosplay as produced by Cirque du Soleil.
The good news is these crimes against nature are available for parties. So if little Shlomo’s Bar Mitzvah is coming up and Mordecai the Dancing Yiddish Clown is booked solid or dead, there is a frighteningly arousing alternative.
If you are thoroughly disgusted and are looking for someone to blame, I nominate Unicorn Man. He eats cupcakes and craps rainbows and is coming for your sons. You will know him by the clip-clopping of his fabulous hooves.
Or better yet, let’s go right to the source- Manimal! Because if we are being honest, Humanimals is a complete ripoff of this ground-breaking television series and its three-month run. Poor Simon MacCorkindale is rolling in his grave of obscurity as we speak!
*Thanks to F.P. Xmas for “turning me on” to Humanimals.