If it smells like Bigfoot’s dick, it probably is Bigfoot’s dick. So if you are camping and you detect a musky melange of decaying wood and animal sweat, watch out- you about to get raped.
Obviously, there must be a whole race of Bigfoots out there, because like humans, some prefer men and some prefer women. Some prefer cutie-patooties (above) while others prefer mentally disturbed homeless ladies (below.) Whichever category you fall into, I have it from a very reliable source that once you go Bigfoot, you never go Bligfoot. That’s the truth, sister. You can quote me on it.
And remember, if you are raped by Bigfoot- it’s not your fault. But it’s also not an excuse to go around molesting young boys. The existence of Bigfoot has yet to be fully acknowledged by mainstream society, therefore the fact that he raped you as a child is not the best defense when you are caught inappropriately touching the neighbors kids. Trust me.