Artist's rendering
This one’s for the ladies.
I don’t know why this never occurred to me before. My How To Suck Your Own Dick post is still one of my most popular, so why not follow it up with one focusing on the feminine equivalent? There’s got to be plenty of ladies out there desperate for instruction on how to munch down on their own box, and I, for one, am desperate to provide it to them. Yet despite my enthusiasm for the subject, I remain a skeptic. Is the mythic self-slurp even physically possible? It was this question that prompted my quest, a quest comparable to that of the search for Bigfoot, a quest only slightly less hairy. My first stop was a reputable website called NationMaster.com (???) Let’s see what they had to say, shall we? My comments emboldened in bold:
While autofellatio is well-documented (by me, motherfucker!), autocunnilingus would be more difficult to perform since the female genitalia are a greater difference (I think they mean “distance”) from the mouth than the head of an erect penis. It is also similarly unaided by having larger than average genitalia (unless you are Chyna) which is common in autofellatio. The capability to perform what contortionists describe as an extreme frontbend would be necessary in order to achieve this. Women are naturally more flexible than men, so this may aid in counteracting the greater distance. While some may claim that a woman’s breast size would counteract her flexible advantages by impeding progress, this would only apply to very well endowed women (In other words, big titty bitches are shit out of luck.)
Click for more (ridiculous) uncensored illustrations
There is much dispute as to whether autocunnilingus is possible. Numerous sources say that it is, but only in rare cases, [citation needed] while others doubt that it can be done, noting a lack of citable evidence. (I love how the lack of citable evidence is backed up by the redundant “citation needed.”) The most extreme generally-available images of contortionists performing frontbends do not appear to depict the head and genitalia close enough to perform autocunnilingus, so a woman who was capable of autocunnilingus would also be capable of exceeding the generally-known feats of contortionists. (Whoever wrote this is not the greatest writer.)
The strongest evidence for the non-existence of autocunnilingus is the failure of the pornography industry to produce images of it en masse, as no images of the act have been documented that are clear depictions and do not appear to be photo manipulations.
What do we say, real or fake? (NSFW!!!)
World’s Oldest Autocunni Pic * Over A Barrel * Sexy Fake?
Sit on my (own) face to tell me that I love me
What do you think, Madonna?
Madonna at the "all you can eat" clam bake.
According to Nation Master, no images have been documented that do not appear to be photo manipulations, but what about the moving image?
(WARNING! FULL-ON XXX PORNO SITE)
This is the proof you are looking for right here!
Because you actually see this girl get into that position with complete and utter ease. Look at that smile. She is plenty pleased with herself. Wouldn’t you be?
So the next time you are all by your lonesome and feel like getting romantic with yourself, do yourself a flavor, ladies. Don’t just stare at it- eat it!
whoa, you have turned a new leaf! equal rights, homie
You know it, girl!
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Sadly, the gal in the video doesn’t actually make contact with her box, rather licks convincingly in the direction of her clit (convincing movement aided by her moving hands on either side)
Some day I’ll get to see it happen… Someday…
I would love to eat my own pussy….. i think imma try it !!!!!
Good luck! Send us some pics if you are successful.
Hey let me know how it feel i wanna try it but idk how it’ll feel could you email me or email me ur number n tell me how it feels
Uh… really?
i want to know how to get my month fully around my pussy i get so horny so fast and have no guy to suck me so i want to do it my self and i want to taste what guys taste
contact me @ farhan.ch93@gmail.com i’l tell you
hey, i really do love the taste and especially the smell, hmmmmm i love it so much… if possible, please drop me an email at cyriltech@hotmail.com
Will you please giveme a good way to suck my Dick I’m only nine I’m about a foot away from sucking.g it and I am really gay I NEED TO SUCK MY DICK KNOW ONE ELSE WILL
Ha ha, I’m 11 and I can do it.
The first tries were failures. took me a month to do it. Now,,I know you already hate me for saying it takes a moth, but it doesn’t. It depends. I first licked the top of my head when my friend and me were in house alone and he said ” Hey, can you suck your own dick? i can.” And he showed me and I was like wow, it looks so easy. But i cant do it. I tried anyway, and it worked! Today I can lick around my head, and I do it at night in the bathroom. When you do this, just know that you will get a reward for doing it, and as you’re dreaming about it start to lower your dick closer, closer, and closer. Then, when you’re a few inches away, Pull the skin down a bit until you can lick it, then lick it a lot. If you want to cum in your own mouth,( Really, only reason i suck my own dick at all) then lick repeatedly, and try masturbating while doing so.If you lick it and hold you’re tongue on it, it wont do much effect But, if you keep licking it, eventually you get this feeling that theres something in your dick, and then it feels like something is being pushed out, kind of like pistons work, except that the feeling kind of goes in and out, in and out. Then you start tasting you’re own cum! Congratulations! If you want too see me do it, email me, and I’ll make a short video for you.
thatheavyisascout@yahoo.com
can you like make a video on youtube and i can just view it?
r u 11 i am to i love sex<3<3<3only wit gurls
you are eleven and you can do it, i’d have to see it to believe it
i will suck it
I wanna try
is this how to suck your own vagina?
or dick?
I want to fucking know how to fuck myself with a electric toothbrush. Please answer my fucking question
Please send me some pics i want to see it to, i am trying to do it every Day, so og you would send some pics, i maybe Can learn of those pics, i hope some Day i Can lick my self.
My mail is ladefoged@me.com thanks girls!
Suck it baby suck it!
I am 45 and I don’t like the thought of licking your own pussy it’s horrible and nasty! You horny cock sucker! Dirty people!
please send me some pics i need help