Daily Archives: October 21, 2010

Willow Smith is the Spawn of Satan

And she is about her father’s business. Following in the footsteps of her parents, Willow Smith pops a squat and unleashes this steaming turd on the chest of humanity. Devo are rolling in their graves, although I wouldn’t be surprised if those graves are filled with Will Smith’s money, as he continues to buy his talentless offspring fame. “What do you want for your Birthday this year, honey? A singing career? Done. I haven’t donated all our money to Scientology yet.”

It’s nice to see black people co-opting white people’s shit for a change, but haven’t we been down this road? Remember Wicked Wisdom, Jada Pinkett’s short lived metal band? I know we all tried to forget, but let’s take a walk down memory lane, shall we?

DISCLAIMER: Thejamminjabber is not responsible for death by douche chills.

And speaking of buying careers, I know you’re all wondering what’s going on with little Karate Kid Jaden Smith. Turns out, M. Night Shyamalan still had a vestige of a soul, because he just sold it to Will Smith. This is what happens when turds collide: Night will be developing One Thousand AE as a starring vehicle for the young set of ears. Lovers of train wrecks everywhere just got disaster boners.

I'm the rapper

I'm the money, he's the puppet

Jesus Loves Titties!

Jesus Playboy cover

Your areola are like perfectly shaped communion wafers, my child

And why shouldn’t he? He fucking invented them. Female breast meat is delicious; it’s even in the bible:

let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love

-Proverbs 5:19

See? Despite all the draconian interpretations made by puritanical tyrants, the Bible is one sexy book.

Jesus-watches-lesbians

He is risen. IN THE PANTS!!!

This was a big scandal a while back and resulted in the demise of Playboy Portugal, but why? You think Jesus has never seen two lesbians grinding their pussy cheeks all over each other? Why do you think sapphic sex exist in the first place? It must get pretty boring monitoring the “for procreation only” love-making of repressed Catholics, so cut the guy some slack.

Jesus-loves-tits

And God said, "That's good."