Martin Luther King Jr. was a whore-beating, speech plagiarizing sonofabitch with a secret identity and ties to the communist party- at least according to an anonymous email circulated back in 2003. Surprised? Don’t be. You know your racist white granny sent you that shit dozens of times before she moved on to the one about Barack Obama being the Antichrist.
According to the mythbusters over at Snopes, the info in that email runs the gamut from malicious half-truth to full-on fabrication. Personally, I’m a little disappointed MLK didn’t use church money to have drunken sex parties with white hookers. It would have made him so much more relatable. At least we know he liked to get his extra-marital bang on, as corroborated by the private audio tapes of J. Edgar Hoover. Listening to alleged communists have sex is what got that kinky audio voyeur OFF!
This may seem like a strange way to celebrate such a great man, but let’s remember, that’s exactly what he was- a man. And like most men, he probably craved strange like Ted Nugent on speed. I can see him now, frothing at the mouth, screaming “Wango Tango!” and shaking his dick at anything in a skirt. Ted Nugent, that is, not MLK. I suspect The King had more of a Barry White vibe. The point is, you’ve got to humanize your heroes, people, not deify them. They’re just like you and me. Unlike celebrities, who are better than us all.