And here I thought Dick Trickle was a made up name, like Seymour Butts or Harry Balls. Wait, Harry Balls is a real name too? What about Chew Kok? Gaye Males? Charley Willard Horse Dick? All real?!?!? That last one isn’t even a pun! Who does that to a child?
Why the hell does this picture of a naked mole rat (which I have actually used before) come up when you image search Dick Trickle?
And how come so many famous sports personalities have weird, sexual names? Dick Butkus? Rusty Kuntz? How can a parent not know they are condemning their child to a lifetime of abuse? Same thing with politicians. And let’s not even get into celebrity baby names. Those people hate their kids.
Some of the more egregious offenders below, although I suspect that middle one is the result of a rookie reporter’s naivete.
These inspired me to come up with some of my own. If I ever get super rich, I’m going to buy out an orphanage, adopt all the kids, and rename them thusly:
Em Barrassinglysmallcock, Gay Ninja, Ophelia Incidameigh, Sodomy Gorgeous, Uncle Taint, Dick Callous, Flash Winkhole, Forrest Kin, Future Rapist, Corn In/Corn Out, Sandwich Time, The Flatulator, Stinky McFuckface, Tyrannosaurus Sex, Square Butt-hole, Hitler Jr. and I Hate Black People. The rest I’ll just name Mohammad.
Yup. Them kids are gonna have a good life.