Daily Archives: December 3, 2011

Poosh Poosh in tha Motha Truckin’ Boosh!

Is it weird that my mother used to rock out to this song when I was a kid? I came from a strict christian family where I wasn’t allowed to watch anything but Disney movies until I was 16, yet crankin’ this song in the car was no problem. Same goes for “Relax” by Frankie Goes To Hollywood. Did she not know the songs were about cutting through the vaginal underbrush with a throbbing flesh machete and some poor jizzlobber’s attempt to hold back while he’s balls deep in a mustachioed leather daddy’s hairy asshole, respectively? Or did she think I was so naive that I wouldn’t make a connection between the undulating rhythms and unsubtle euphemisms (although, Relax, don’t do it, when you want to cum isn’t really a euphemism, now is it?)?

Seeing ones sacred mother sing along to “In The Bush” is even more embarrassing than seeing Nicolas Cage as Donald Kaufman do it in Adaptation, which brought back all sorts of suppressed feelings from my childhood. Thanks, buddy. I had only just gotten past the trauma.

Fantasy Author Piers Anthony Might Be A Pedophile

Piers-Anthony-Pedo

Either that or he desperately wants to be. Check out this article I wrote over at LitReactor for the evidence. It carries the Pedo Bear seal of approval.

When I was but a lad, I used to love me some Piers Anthony. The delicious puns of the Xanth series, the themes of science versus religion in The Apprentice Adept, the humorous take on humanity that was The Incarnations of Immortality- it was pure nerd heaven. I would eventually go on to outgrow his work, but not before I had devoured everything the man had written at the time. This included his lesser known efforts, not all of which were as kid-friendly as the Xanth novels. Which is how I came to read Firefly.

And if you ever come across Firefly, I suggest you run screaming in the opposite direction. And if you cum across Firefly, then you are a sick fuck. Seriously, this article is not for those with a sensitive constitution, or those teetering on the edge of sexual decency. Enjoy (but not too much).