Brett and Brandi Favre were tighter than your average brother and sister. In fact, you could say that they were tighter than Heidi the cross-eyed opossum’s ah-noose. This was something that always worried their poor mother, but Papa Favre was of the opinion that it was better to keep it in the family.
Whilst perusing their horoscopes one day, they were shocked to find the inclusion of a new astrological sign called Ophiuchus. “That’s bullshit,” said Brett. He immediately called his friend Skeet Ulrich, who was having a hard time getting work and spent most of his day on the internet. He told Brett that not since he was a young pledge at Delta Sigma Theta and was made to dress up like Trudy Styler and read The Catcher in the Rye out loud while a frat brother violated him dressed as Peter Fonda from Easy Rider had he been so disturbed.
Meanwhile, across town, Michelle Bombshell McGee was engaged in a threesome with Rooney Mara and Ted Williams. President Obama’s Tuscon speech was on in the background, which spooked Williams. He made the excuse that he was late for rehab and got the hell out of there. The mood was killed so the ladies decided to pick up Pat Shurmur and catch the NAMM show instead. But because of all the WPXI school closings the kids were out in full force and show attendance was already at capacity. The End.
Oh, yeah- Sparkfun, Mount Etna and Gucci Mane ice cream tattoo, too. Andrew Garfield Spiderman costume. Suckers.
