Category Archives: Fix Your Face

Dillinger May Have Taken My Balls, But At Least They Helped Me Grow A Vagina To Replace Them

With Fix Your Face, Dillinger Escape Plan devastated my balls. Here was a song so intense, it vibrated my man-bits back to the future where they are probably kissing their own mother and changing the past as we speak. But it was worth it. I was content to live out the rest of my life as a eunuch. And then Black Bubble Gum leaked.

Here is a song so disappointing, so un-Dillinger, it molded the loose skin left by my vacated testicles into a makeshift vagina (think those fuzzy alien creatures from The Muppets.) The band seems to be continuing its efforts to include some more “commercially viable” material on each record, a trend that began on Miss Machine with songs like Unretrofied. And let me tell you, this song is Unretrofied times gay. Now before some of you go and get upset, I don’t mean that as a slur. I actually had visions of muscle bound sailors with bristly mustaches while listening to it.

According to a blog on their MySpace, guitarist Ben Weinman broke his foot while filming a video for this song. This song?!?!? What, did he trip over a feather boa? I don’t get it.

Is this song gay? “Yuuup, yup yup yup…”

New Dillinger Song Is Certified Retarded

That’s right. From the upcoming album Ire Works. It doesn’t rock my balls off so much as it tears them off with its teeth and spits them into a blender, purees them into a smooth seminal shake and pours it down my throat. I then vomit the whole thing up all over myself in short sporadic bursts of blast beats and odd time signatures. Get your face fixed and your balls liquefied HERE.