Category Archives: Television

With all due respect, your website was down at the time of this writing, which doesn’t really help your cause. That being said, good luck getting lazy Americans to give up a national holiday, no matter what it celebrates. Half of this country is unaware of the controversy surrounding Columbus Day, and the other half will get all uppity like a bunch of goombas on a bad episode of The Sopranos if you take it away. Plus, they ‘ll want to know why so many Puerto Rican guys are in a video asking for a Native American holiday.

Do we really want to start axing holidays and  rewriting history? When you think about it, all national holidays have a modicum of controversy. Not many people know that New Year was an actual person, and that he was a suspected Nazi sympathizer. White people are against Martin Luther King Day because it is a celebration of virile black men taking our women. Cherry Trees everywhere are against President’s Day, because it celebrates the slaughter of their people so they can be made into false teeth. Independence Day celebrates the blowing up of the White House by aliens. Labor Day is actually in recognition of The Labour Party, and has nothing to do with the United States at all. Veterans Day is a holiday for baby-killers. Thanksgiving is like Columbus Day part II. And Christmas, Christmas is the worst of them all. Christmas celebrates the birth of Big Baby Jesus, who was killed and rose from the dead, making him a zombie. And everyone knows that zombies like to eat brains, which makes that time of year especially hard on brains.