They finally got Bin Laden, but you know who they couldn’t get? Vincent Galloban, the unnamed terrorist in Jerzy Skolimowski’s Essential Killing. Granted, he was on the run in Poland, if you adhere to those sort of stereotypes, but still. The man is willy and elusive, and was last seen tear-assing across the tundra screeching, “They won’t catch me!” like he was W. Axl Rose.
When he is not tripping balls on poison berries or poorly dodging felled trees, Gallo is lurking in the forest, waiting for unsuspecting mothers to fall off their bikes and nurse their children in the middle of the road. It is then that he pounces, draughting a few meager mouthfuls of that sweet mother’s milk to wash down the fish scales and twigs he just ate, Allah forgive him.
Thanks to Shiv for the tagline
This film should have been awesome. Instead, it was a poorly directed snoozefest with a convenient series of events propelling the “narrative.” Gallo has been in plenty of crap, but it is a crime to put the man in a film where he doesn’t speak. Or get a blow job. The milk theft scene is its only saving grace. That and the fact that Gallo was so method, he demanded an actual lactating woman for the scene. The man is a professional!
