Tag Archives: ChuckPalahniuk.net

Procrastination = Death

Posted on September 12, 2011 | Leave a comment

LitReactor

Check out this nifty little video we shot to promote the upcoming LitReactor launch. It’s called Procrastination, and deals with a subject I’m sure most writers are familiar with. Procrastination. It features a winning performance by veteran thespian Brian James, as well as a healthy dose of the internet’s favorite thing- cat antics! It used to contain an hilarious masturbation scene (it’s no secret that masturbation is the greatest time burglar of all), but we trimmed it in the interest of mass appeal. Still, it’s worthy of your attention. You watch now!

And while you’re over there, don’t forget to sign our mailing list to receive your free PDF of exclusive writing advice from authors such as Chuck Palahniuk, Steve Erickson, Bret Easton Ellis, Craig Clevenger, Neil Gaiman, and Jack Ketchum. The internet is already abuzz with its praise.

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There’s A New Literary Sheriff In Town

Posted on September 6, 2011 | Leave a comment

LitReactorI know most of the freaky weirdos that visit this blog don’t come here for my witty brand of irreverent humor. Don’t lie, I’ve seen the search engine stats. You’re into bizarre shit, I write about bizarre shit. Google does the rest. Chances are you discovered thejabber while searching some horrible combination of fetishes that by all rights should have the FBI beating down your door.

But maybe- just maybe- some of  you are more than the sum of your kink. Maybe some of you are writers. Writers looking to hone their craft. Or maybe you’re a book nerd, looking for a place to geek out. If so, allow me to present my latest writing venture- it’s called LitReactor.

LitReactor is a new website from the team behind ChuckPalahniuk.net, and will be devoted to the craft of writing and all things literary. We will be hosting a groundbreaking writer’s workshop; monthly classes taught by published authors and industry professionals; as well as an online magazine devoted to news, reviews, interviews, and articles.

The site goes live October 1st, but if you sign up for our mailing list now, you will receive a free compendium of exclusive writing advice from authors such as Chuck Palahniuk, Steve Erickson, Bret Easton Ellis, Craig Clevenger, Neil Gaiman, and Jack Ketchum. So head on over, and while you’re there, like and follow all the requisite social networking affiliates, which will feature supplementary material, not just content recycled from the website.

We’ve got a ton of great things planned, and look forward to sharing it with you all. And for those of you addicted to the flippancy of thejabber, don’t worry, we’ll still be churning out offensive material to clog the tubes of the internet like so many toilets.

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This Is A Badass Photograph of Kurt Vonnegut

Posted on February 8, 2011 | Leave a comment

Kurt Vonnegut - Badass

Props to whoever took it (Fair use! Fair use!) If anyone complains, I may have to retain the counsel of my most recent interview subject- Donald C. Farber, Esquire. You may not be familiar with his name, but you should be. He only represents a little author by the name of Kurt Vonnegut, maybe you’ve heard of him?

Not only was he Kurt’s agent and business manager, he was also one of his closest friends. So in lieu of getting John Edwards to help conduct an interview from beyond the grave, this is the next best thing to talking to Kurt. The full interview, as always, resides at The Cult.

Donald Farber has the same no nonsense candor associated with some of Vonnegut’s best work. He was direct and to the point, almost blunt in his answers, and never once gave in to sensationalism. We discussed everything from the trials of being in business with your friends to whether or not Vonnegut would approve of the handling of his estate. Our conversation paints a fascinating picture of one of the most enduring writers of the 20th century and the legacy he left behind.

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Posted in Books, Chuck Palahniuk, Interviews

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Stephen Graham Jones vs. The Sexy Sixlets

Posted on January 10, 2011 | Leave a comment

It Came For Your Sixlets

My interview with prolific, genre loving author Stephen Graham Jones is up at ChuckPalahniuk.net.

Stephen Graham Jones is a man who is constantly writing. He has no choice. He glides through the murky depths of the literary ocean like a shark, because if he stops moving, he’ll die. In fact, by the time you finish reading this he will probably have completed another novel, guzzling his favorite vanilla-infused cola, scarfing whatever the hell Sixlets are.

That’s right, Sixlets. And you know what comes up when you Google image search Sixlets? THIS. I took the liberty of narrowing the search, but if you search Sixlets and scroll down six or seven pages… BAM! Teenage girls taking inappropriate party pics. Looking at them just might be illegal.

Sexy Sixlets - Bananas and Blow

Bananas and Blow

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Posted in Books, Chuck Palahniuk, Interviews

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I Guess I’m Reviewing YA Novels Now

Posted on December 17, 2010 | Leave a comment

John Belushi is Dead

Accidental YA read is nothing like accidental butt sex. The realization is a more gradual process, and involves less searing anus pain. It is, however, just as unfair to the unsuspecting person on the receiving end. From Chucky P dot Knee:

I think I just accidentally read a YA novel and I’m a little pissed about it.

Granted, there were no inter-Universal Monster romances, but I should have seen the signs- the atypical mass market meets trade product dimensions, the MTV Books imprint, the cover blurb from Stephanie Kuehnert (although to be fair, I had no idea who she was until I looked it up)- so I’ve got no one to blame but myself.

I considered bailing, but fuck it- I’m gonna write a review anyway. The publicist was pushing for it, and I can’t be held responsible if they misjudged their target audience. If Belushi actually is a YA novel in disguise, it’s gonna have to grow up, and fast. And if it isn’t…

Poor JB is rolling in his grave. I suffered through the novel, now suffer through my review. John Belushi Is Dead. Long live John Belushi!

John Belushi's Grave

Why couldn't it have been Jim?

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Posted in Books, Film, Reviews

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Butt In The Mean Time, I Try To Hawk One…

Posted on November 10, 2010 | Leave a comment
In The Mean Time

All floating in glass...

My review of Paul Tremblay‘s speculative collection, In The Mean Time, is now ending worlds at The Cult.

Further proof that less is sometimes more, Paul Tremblay returns with a collection of shorts that excite the imagination with their potential. Not potential as in underdeveloped ability, because Tremblay has already proven himself an accomplished craftsman, but potential as in the expressing of possibility. Unfettered by the constraints of the novel, Tremblay is free to explore the mystery of vague ideas without rendering the work unfulfilling. The spaces between the words, where these stories live and breathe, represent the author at his most interesting, ensuring that In The Mean Time will resonate  long after the last page has been read.

Read all about it HERE.

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Memoir of A Crime Scene Cleaner

Posted on October 26, 2010 | Leave a comment
Jeff Klima

Somebody called about a dead grandmother?

My review of The Dead Janitors Club, from ChuckPalahniuk.net:

The Dead Janitors Club is the latest entry in the emerging genre of crime scene cleaner’s memoir. Didn’t know there was a whole crop of books dedicated to the people who sop up the blood and bits of brain in the wake of heinous acts of violence? Then you probably didn’t know people actually make a living doing that sort of thing. Like Aftermath, Inc. and Mop Men before it, The Dead Janitors Club details the ins and outs of the crime scene cleanup biz, presenting titillating tales of gore for thrill-seekers and car accident gawkers. I don’t know about its predecessors, but Janitors Club is not a book about CSI caliber professionals. It is the story of a slacker frat boy and a Los Angeles county sheriff out to make a buck, learning the ropes and breaking the rules as they go.

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You Can’t Spell “The Passage” Without “Ass Age”

Posted on September 20, 2010 | 3 Comments
The P ass age

That book cover is totally in itself! Whoa...

And how do you figure out how old an ass is? You count the rings!

I review Justin Cronin’s post apocalyptic doorstop over at ChuckPalahniuk.net

It’s already been referenced ad nauseum, so I will refrain from making any lazy Twilight comparisons in this review. Those sparkly bastards are too ingrained in the current zeitgeist as it is. Equally as unhelpful is flaccid hyperbole, ready-made blurbs along the lines of, “this ain’t your momma’s vampire novel.” Because The Passage barely qualifies as a vampire novel to begin with. This works in its favor, more often than not, helping set it apart from the rest of the haematophilic pack. Cronin hasn’t so much reinvented the genre as liberally borrowed from it, picking and choosing the perfect combination of fresh and familiar. The result? The successful synthesis of bound and jacketed mass appeal.

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James Ellroy Has Mommy Issues

Posted on August 20, 2010 | 1 Comment

Hilliker Curse

He also has a new memoir, which I have reviewed, over @ the Cult. 224 pages of scar-laced neuroses called The Hilliker Curse. The Demon Dog has no secrets (or shame.) It is very raw and very good.

Onanist. Pervert. Peeping tom. Glue huffer. Panty sniffer. Homeless drifter. John. By his own admission, James Ellroy has been each of these things; he wears it like a badge of honor. In his mind, as a child, he was a murderer. As an adult- a dedicated son and a devoted husband. But what a lot of people don’t realize, is that above all else, he always has, and always will be, a man whose life is ruled by women.

Click HERE for full review.

Also: Blood’s A Rover.

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Posted in Books, Opinions Are Like Assholes, Reviews

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Strange But True: A Short Biography of Chuck Palahniuk

Posted on August 15, 2010 | Leave a comment
Chuck Palahniuk

Photo by Kyle Green

On a more serious note, I have written a short bio of Fight Club author Chuck Palahniuk for his official website (home of my many tasty book reviews.) Click the author for the bio.

Truth is stranger than fiction, at least for those blessed with interesting lives. The rest of us have no choice but to live vicariously through their stories. In the case of bestselling cult author Chuck Palahniuk, the embellishment of his exploits by fans has made it hard to tell exactly where reality ends and the storytelling begins. There are those who would have us believe he entered this world kicking and screaming, brandishing a pen, when in fact he comes from much more humble (albeit interesting) beginnings.

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