Tag Archives: Eli Roth

Will Smith Cast As Lead In Tarantino’s Django Unchained? Aw, Hell No!

Will Smith Mandingo

Now I know Big Willie and Rocky Dennis get a lot of shit around here (and here and here and here,) but this is just too much. I was all sorts of pumped for Tarantino’s upcoming Blaxploitation “southern,” Django Unchained, but now I’m all sorts of bummed. Multiple sources (but I’ll cite Twitchfilm, because while you’re over there you can check out some of my REVIEWS) are reporting that the Fresh Prince himself is at the top of Curly Q’s list to play a former slave out for revenge.

Mandingo cock feel

Sometimes I feel like Tarantino is a victim of his own hype. Yes, he writes great dialog, but that doesn’t mean he can make a wordy conversation about falling into a ditch interesting. Yes, he has an eye for casting, but fuck a duck, that doesn’t make Eli Roth’s cringe-inducing performance in Inglourious Basterds any better. And while Travolta’s performance in Pulp Fiction was fine, Tarantino still has to answer for everything the man has done since. That’s right, Tarantino, Wild Hogs was your fault!

Because as good as he supposedly is with actors, Tarantino has a tendency to let them run wild and play things broad. Is he gonna coax a great performance out of Smith, like he did with Robert Forster in Jackie Brown? Or is he gonna give us another Lieutenant Ham-bone Raine? The material doesn’t exactly scream “subtle,” which is why I have my doubts. Only time will tell, I guess.

Hitler Hates Eli Roth As Much As I Do

Was gonna post the Hitler Hates The Avatar Trailer video, but every blog and his mother has posted that shit, so time for plan B. For some reason,this one has gotten significantly less coverage, flying under the nerd radar like some sort of pop culture stealth bomber. Wonder what Hitler thought of  Inglourious Basterds? (For those who haven’t seen the movie, this one contains huge SPOILERS.)

What the hell, here’s the Avatar one as well.

Previous Posts:

Quentin Tarantino Is Gay For Eli Roth

Avatar Trailer: Ridiculously Awesome Or Awesomely Ridiculous?

Awesome White Power Tattoos

Dammit, Imageshack! Where the hell do my pictures keep going!?!?!?!? Did Cameron put you up to this?

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Enquiring Minds Want To Know

Looks like I’m not the only one who got this vibe. From my stats-

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Quentin Tarantino Is Gay For Eli Roth

Your toes are like crack to me.

It’s the only explanation. Why else would Tarantino keep putting Roth in his movies? Lovestruck directors have been putting the less than talented objects of their affection in their films since the Lumiere brothers, and Quentin is no exception. Roth Jager bombed his way into Tarantino’s heart in Deathproof, and has subsequently been rewarded with a role as the furry-chested Bear Jew in World War II epic, Inglourious Basterds.

This proves love is blind. Ten seconds of Roth’s cringe-inducing Carl Yastrzemski rant are almost enough to single-handedly ruin the whole  film. Tarantino has gone from sabotaging his films with his own hammy acting to sabotaging them with Roth’s. Don’t Jimmy me, Jules. All I know is Roth must give some good toe.

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