Tag Archives: Erotica

Cum For Bigfoot

Cum For Bigfoot

I lay snuggled next to Bigfoot, whose name was Leonard.

That is the actual opening line from Cum For Bigfoot 2, an erotic eBook by Virginia Wade. According to the Amazon description, it is a story that contains: oral sex, anal sex, double penetration, rimming, spanking, penetration with a large object, threesomes, and an orgy. The fact that they all involve a Bigfoot or BigFeet is implied. But I’m getting ahead of myself.

About a month ago, I wrote a post about a post I wrote for LitReactor on The Wild West World of eBook Only Erotica. A year or so prior to that, I had written a post entitled Bigfoot: Super Rapist. Little did I know at the time that the two went hand in hairy hand.

Virginia-Wade-Medley

The versatility of Virginia Wade, author.

The fact that a sequel exists means that the first installment of Cum For Bigfoot must have been popular enough to warrant one. Hell, it must have been reeeeeally popular, because Virginia has also written a threequel, published February the 1st. Check out this amusing synopsis:

The Bigfoot saga continues with Porsche, Shelly, and Leslie’s abduction by a horny tribe of apes. In the third installment of the Monster Sex Series, Porsche and Shelly find themselves no closer to rescue, although relationships are forming between the apes and their captive fuck-bunnies. And, what’s not to love about an eight foot walking carpet with a huge penis? Could it be that Porsche is falling in love with her ape, Leonard? Will rescue finally cum for the girls or are they destined to have wild, hot, monster sex in the forest for all eternity?

So, I guess Bigfoot rape fantasies are a thing? Ladies, is this true? Couldn’t you just marry a Greek guy? In any event, it just proves the age-old adage: It isn’t rape if she enjoys it. Even if it’s by a hairy Neanderthal. Right, Greg Kelly?

Greg-Kelly-Bigfoot

Wild, hot, monster sex.

And if Big Foot rape isn’t your thing, don’t worry, Virginia’s got you covered. You can also be raped by Frankenstein or The Invisible Man. It’s all about options.

The Lactating Step Daughter And Other eRotic Tales

Lactating Step Daughter

Does a body good.

We all know the internet’s a strange place. Hell, I’m a major contributor. But it’s only strange because the world is strange- we just never had such unprecedented access before. In my day, you’d actually have to go to the library and dig around in these things called “books” to sate your curiosity for the curious. How do you think I learned about the Aves and the Apis? The encyclopedia and my mother’s romance novels, that’s how. Thanks, mom.

Speaking of books and the internet and romance, have you checked out the eBook eRotica scene lately? It’s like the wild west out there, if cacti and dirt were incest fantasies and Lolita fetishes. (Strangely enough, both the west and eRotica contain a plethora of steers and queers. Brokeback Borracho!)

Intrigued? Titilated? Looking to make a quick buck? Then check out my article on The Wild West World of eBook Only Erotica over at my writing day job, LitReactor:

We’re not talking Lady Chatterley’s Lover or The Story of O, here. Hell, we’re not even talking the bodice-ripping pirate rape of your mother’s Harlequin Romance. This is unabashed, down and dirty fuck fiction, made specifically to put money in pockets and a rocket in yours.

eBook eRotica Covers

I even try my hand at writing my own eRotic story, although what I wound up with was certainly less pornographic than Fresh Teen Sluts: Bath Time With Daddy or Little Virgin Sister’s Webcam Show. I went a little more… classical. I guess that’s the influence of my mother’s romance novels.  An excerpt, submitted for your one-handed approval:

The undergrowth of her undercarriage shimmered with the sheen of her musk. Glistening liquid orbs trickled down the shaft of her pubic fronds, breaking up into even smaller droplets, ejected in an arc like seed as they met the pliant flesh of her quivering pussy cheeks. These satellite droplets fell like tears, splashing off the porcelain cliffs of her inner thighs, and ran down in rivulets to fill the basin of her cleft like some geological formation at the dawn of time.

“Be gentle, Sir Knight. It is my first time.”

She didn’t say it- she breathed it. The plea tumbled out in a whisper, the word “time” barely avoiding being sucked back in on a sharp intake of air as a finger dipped into her honey-pot.

“That makes this a first for me as well,” The Knight cooed like an over-confident pigeon. “For I have only known the hospitality of a lady by force.”

Her body stiffened, eliciting a smile.

“But you are different, my lady. You are the first I have wanted to give of herself… willingly.”

He hovered over her body, the proof of his words bouncing like a diving board moments after its athlete has gracefully floated towards the watery depths.

“My warrior is yours to command.”

Click on over to LitReactor to find out what happens next. I’ll give you a hint: it involves blue balls and Spike Lee references.

Donkey Dick Is In The Bible

Donkey Dick

I finally understand Christianity. From the New International Version, what is considered by many to be the dirtiest passage in the whole Bible:

Ezekiel 23:19-21

19 Yet she became more and more promiscuous as she recalled the days of her youth, when she was a prostitute in Egypt.

20 There she lusted after her lovers, whose genitals were like those of donkeys and whose emission was like that of horses.

21 So you longed for the lewdness of your youth, when in Egypt your bosom was caressed and your young breasts fondled.

So what we have here is a horny slut fantasizing about big black dicks (it takes place in Egypt) and hot, steamy loads. I’d have to check with an erotic historian, but this also might be the first documented record of bukkake. I don’t know why the dicks are specifically likened to a donkey’s while the loads are those of horses, though.  I guess that was just her preference. You’d think horse and donkey dick and their respective quantity of ejaculate would be similar enough.

Again, this is all in the freakin’ Bible!!!