In a feeble attempt to prove to the world that they are actually capable of kicking Nazis out of their country, the Cannes film festival has decided to ban Danish auteur Lars Von Trier for his controversial statements at Wednesday’s press conference. You know, 70 years after the fact. Too little, too late, guys.
To be fair, Von Trier was only giving the people what they want- controversy. It’s pretty clear from the above video that this isn’t a Mel Gibson style tirade (who, incidentally, the French paraded down the red carpet for The Beaver screening,) just one of the greatest comedic bombings of all time. This is the type of shit comedian
Dane Cook Jr. Daniel Tosh gets away with every week on his show. If Von Trier had better timing and the French had a better sense of humor, this whole thing would have played like gangbusters. Gangbusters I tells ya!
Another country to add to the hypocrite list? Argentina. Argentinian company DC has refused to distribute Von Trier’s new film, Melancholia, due to the director’s choice of stand-up material. This, despite the fact that said country has been harboring the Führer and his boys from Brazil for over half a decade. Worst misdirection ever.
Fight the power!
So let’s cut Von Trier some slack. The poor little imp is obviously suffering from some sort of identity crisis. He doesn’t know whether he is a Nazi, a Jew, or a bad-ass gangster rapper (as evidenced by his new tattoo.) It doesn’t help that he is clinically depressed, and has to work out his problems on the world stage. And let’s be fair, Cannes- if Mel Gibson and Woody Allen’s daughter-marrying ass are any indication, you’ll be back in love with Von Trier this time next week.
Posted in Film, History, Jews, Racism
Tagged Battle of France, Cannes, Daniel Tosh, Hitler, Holocaust, Lars von Trier, Mel Gibson, Melancholia, Michelle Bombshell McGee, Nazis, Pantera, Surrender Monkeys, The Beaver, We Come From France!
He’s also the Antichrist, so hide yo kids, hide yo wife. Lars Von Trier and Republicans tried to warn us, but we wouldn’t listen. The only way to defeat him is to drill a hole in his leg and make him ejaculate blood with the help of a mystical talking fox. Watch yourself! Cuz this is one insatiable pussy crook who won’t be stopped. He wants to take away your guns and give your money to lazy minorities. He wants to create an Islamic socialist paradise where chaos reigns.
It’s amazing people are still afraid of this when Obama has proven ineffectual on most of his grandiose liberal promises.
PREVIOUSLY: Barack Obama Wants To Know, “Where The White Women At?”
Posted in Film, Politics, Religion
Tagged Antichrist, Antoine Dodson, Barack Obama, Chaos Reigns, Islam, Lars von Trier, Mystikal, Polygamy, President, Pussy Crook, Tobacco
I’ve got a new piece up at Twitch about the Fantastic Fest reaction to Lars Von Trier’s Antichrist. Prepare to have your genitals obliterated HERE.
Check out the scene in question below. It goes without saying that if you haven’t seen the film, you’re spoiling shit.
Posted in Criticism, Film
Tagged Antichrist, Chaos Reigns, Charlotte Gainsbourg, Fantastic Fest, Female Circumcision, Genital Mutilation, Lars von Trier, Opinions Are Like Assholes, Twitch, Willem Defoe
Unfortunately, the original Salli Chair promo has been yanked from youtube, but the best “bits” have been preserved by Conan:
ANDY WILL TRY IT!
What Conan fails to mention, however, is that the narrator in said promo is none other than provocative Danish auteur, Lars von Trier! Lars knows a thing or two about sensitive genitals, as his forthcoming flick Antichrist features the most genital mutilation you’ll see this side of The Pain Olympics.
Lars must be hedging his bets, just in case this “directing” thing doesn’t work out.
Salli Chair Prototype
Posted in Film, Health, Television
Tagged Andy Richter, Andy Will Try It, Antichrist, Conan O'Brien, Genital Mutilation, Lars von Trier, Pain Olympics, Salli Chair, Sensitive Genitals, The Tonight Show