In other chair related news…
Tired of putting effort into sex? Want to take the physical out of getting physical? Then do I have the chair for you. This Japanese Love Chair is popping up in sex hotels all over Japan. Even as we speak, thousands of uptight Japanese businessmen are meeting their uptight mistresses in clandestine fuck pads to have very uptight Japanese sex. On a futuristic sex robot.
Because essentially, that’s what this is- a giant, leather-clad sex robot from the planet Sexulon, and its prime directive is to help you bump fuglies with as little exertion on your part as possible. Not since Udo Kier came to earth from the planet Spermula has an intergalactic sex-being got this much action (although David Bowie is a close second.)
Unfortunately, the venerable Mr. Kier does not appear in the above clip, but I felt midgets and ass cheeks and tea pots were much more interesting than his androgynous good looks. As for the hump chair instructional video, there has to be more to it, because it ends with two quick shots that only hint at the possibilities. There is a veritable cornucopia of lazy man’s sex to be explored. A Kama Sutra’s worth of inert positions. Andy Richter, eat your heart out. I’d like to see you try that on Conan.