Check out this nifty little video we shot to promote the upcoming LitReactor launch. It’s called Procrastination, and deals with a subject I’m sure most writers are familiar with. Procrastination. It features a winning performance by veteran thespian Brian James, as well as a healthy dose of the internet’s favorite thing- cat antics! It used to contain an hilarious masturbation scene (it’s no secret that masturbation is the greatest time burglar of all), but we trimmed it in the interest of mass appeal. Still, it’s worthy of your attention. You watch now!
And while you’re over there, don’t forget to sign our mailing list to receive your free PDF of exclusive writing advice from authors such as Chuck Palahniuk, Steve Erickson, Bret Easton Ellis, Craig Clevenger, Neil Gaiman, and Jack Ketchum. The internet is already abuzz with its praise.
Hungry Eyes... I feel the magic between MY thighs!
I’ll have what she’s having.
Some Black Swan spoilers here, folks, albeit sexy ones.
Add Natalie Portman to the list of women who can eat their own pussy, even though she’s taken a slightly different approach. What starts out as a “lezzie wet dream” wherein Mila munches down on Natalie’s Kunis turns into a bizarre meta-masturbatory fantasy. All aboard the tuna train to chow town!
She bop, he bop, a we bop...
She also goes knuckle deep while her mother is in the room sleeping. Thank you, Darren Arronofsky, for using your powers for good. You have given hope to nebbish men everywhere that one day they too might wield such power over beautiful women under the pretext of “art.”
See both, bootleg quality videos over at Egotastic.
Posted in Film, Gay and Lesbian, Sexuality
Tagged Autocunnilingus, Black Swan, Cunnilingus, Cyndi Lauper, Darren Arronofsky, Dirty Dancing, Eric Carmen, Grumpy Old Men, Hungry Eyes, Masturbation, Mila Kunis, Natalie Portman, She Bop
Whilst perusing youtube for an audio clip with which to torture a co-worker (Andy, you fucking Goonie!!!) I came across this – my favorite adolescent masturbatory aid, conveniently edited down into a bite-size morsel of pleasure. This was the hottest shit when I was twelve, and I was instantly transported back in time to my fledgling days of self gratification.
Back then, masturbation was like a journey. I’d pop in the VHS, get comfy, and settle in for the “slow jerk”. I’d take my time with myself, bringing myself to the brink of climax and then holding off, seductively teasing myself, teetering on the precipice of ecstasy. Then I’d slowly bring myself back from the edge, before starting the process all over again, anticipating the next tantalizing glimpse of cotton. If I knew I was gonna take a while, I’d make sure to pack a lunch.
But that was a different time. What PG-rated kids film nowadays can boast multiple up-skirt shots of its hot underage star? Hotel For Dogs? Doubtful. I heard they used only female dogs and airbrushed out all the buttholes to keep them genderless. That’s the type of society we’re living in. A society without buttholes. Well I’ve got news for you, in my time, dogs had buttholes.
Further down the rabbit hole that is youtube, I came across this in my Goonies related searching.
Now if you’ll excuse me, I’m about to take a leisurely stroll down memory lane, if you know what I mean. And if you don’t, I’m totally gonna jerk it.
An abnormal fear of being looked at or seen.
An abnormal fear of cats.
A fear of sexual intercourse.
Couldn’t find a clinically diagnosed anxiety disorder already on record, and I wasn’t sure about the nomenclature, so I just used an amalgamation of three existing phobias. In the event of an error on my part, there is a good chance scopoailuroautoerotophobia may actually mean “A fear of watching cats masturbate,” or, the far more disturbing “A fear of being watched while masturbating cats.”
But it makes you think. Is it really so weird to feel uncomfortable engaging in sexual activity with a pet in the room? I would like to put forth that it is the people comfortable with such a display who are the weird ones. Because one day there you are, innocently having sex in front of your animals, and then before you know it you are producing your very own bestiality videos.