That’s right, ladies, it’s your own fault if your husband refuses to take the downtown train like Rod Stewart. Confused as to why? Most likely because you’re not shooting harsh antiseptic chemicals up your vadge to kill the cooties that incubate there.
Allow me to simplify for the uneducated housewife. “Cooties” is a scientific term for lady-germs. It comes from the same Latin origin as the word “cooter,” which literally means “flesh sauna.” If a man is frequenting a public sauna, he will naturally want to wear protective footwear. But just because you are lucky enough to have a private sauna installed in your own home does not mean scheduled maintenance should be neglected. Said maintenance falls under the jurisdiction of the lady of the house. If a feminine sauna is not properly seen to, it’s off to the local YMCA, where it’s fun for a frigid husband to stay!
If Lysol is not your twat sanitizer of choice, you might prefer their competitor- Zonite! When you absolutely need to eliminate that natural feminine odor and wreak havoc on the PH of your body, Zonite is the douche for you! Zonite is also good for paint stripping and de-greasing kitchen appliances. Now available in both lemon and “new car” scents. Try some today!
Womanly odor is offensive to dick. Subtle.
Posted in Health, Science, Sexuality, Sociology, Vagina, Women's Issues, Women's Studies
Tagged Cooties, Douche, Feminism, Lysol, Not So Fresh Feeling, Zonite
So fresh and so clean... (clean...)
From Elle magazine, by way of Jezebel:
On his deal-breaker:
“Toilet paper – and no baby wipes – in the bathroom. If they’re using dry paper, they aren’t washing all of themselves. It’s just unclean. So if I go in a woman’s house and see the toilet paper there, I’ll explain this. And if she doesn’t make the adjustment to baby wipes, I’ll know she’s not completely clean.”
Hahaha. You tell that to a women’s magazine? Dude is seriously out of touch. I’m surprised he didn’t demand women on their period be sequestered from society due to uncleanliness, Bible style.
Thou Shalt Not!
And if a woman have an issue, and her issue in her flesh be blood, she shall be put apart seven days: and whosoever toucheth her shall be unclean until the even. And every thing that she lieth upon in her separation shall be unclean: every thing also that she sitteth upon shall be unclean. And whosoever toucheth her bed shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. And whosoever toucheth any thing that she sat upon shall wash his clothes, and bathe himself in water, and be unclean until the even. And if it be on her bed, or on any thing whereon she sitteth, when he toucheth it, he shall be unclean until the even.
I bet when Terrence is alone and life is making him lonely, he’s shit out of luck. I find it hard to believe he would “listen to the rhythm of a gentle bossa nova,” if you know what I mean.
Terrence demonstrates the proper way to clean the female vadge-niner
The consequence of not using Terrence Howard brand vag wipes
Posted in Celebrity Shit Heads, Film, Health, Religion, Sexuality, Women's Issues
Tagged Baby Wipes, Cleanliness, Elle Magazine, Feminine Products, Maxi Pads, Menstruation, Not So Fresh Feeling, Period, Terrence Howard, The Bible, Vagina