Tag Archives: Playboy

Roger Ebert Likes Chocolate

Chocolate Bunny

Chocolate Bunny

Sexual chocolate. But we already knew that, didn’t we? Correct me if I’m wrong, but I think Stevie Wonder sang Jungle Fever at the man’s wedding.

I don’t always agree with him, but Roger knows a butt-load about the movies. I’ve consistently enjoyed his musings, and since the tragic loss of his voice due to cancer, he has been writing a lot. Unfortunately, his website loads for shit, at least where I work. They say the blacker the bits, the sweeter the juice, so I don’t see what the internet’s problem is.  Stupid racist internet.

Anyway, he wrote an article about an article he wrote (how meta) about Hughley Hefner concerning the ever-present acronym, NSFW.  In the article within the article (and the outer article itself) he included a tasteful nude (pictured above) of chocolaty love-sensation Azizi Johari. He spoke of her thusly:

I find the dark hue of her skin beautiful. Photographs like this helped men of all races to understand that Black is Beautiful.

My thoughts on the issue? I concur with Roger. Naked ladies, Huzzah! And who doesn’t like chocolate? Even at work. When the mid-afternoon shakes hit and the internet threatens to completely derail productivity, a taste of visual chocolate is just what the doctor ordered. Good lookin’ out, Rodge.

Jesus Loves Titties!

Jesus Playboy cover

Your areola are like perfectly shaped communion wafers, my child

And why shouldn’t he? He fucking invented them. Female breast meat is delicious; it’s even in the bible:

let her breasts satisfy thee at all times; and be thou ravished always with her love

-Proverbs 5:19

See? Despite all the draconian interpretations made by puritanical tyrants, the Bible is one sexy book.

Jesus-watches-lesbians

He is risen. IN THE PANTS!!!

This was a big scandal a while back and resulted in the demise of Playboy Portugal, but why? You think Jesus has never seen two lesbians grinding their pussy cheeks all over each other? Why do you think sapphic sex exist in the first place? It must get pretty boring monitoring the “for procreation only” love-making of repressed Catholics, so cut the guy some slack.

Jesus-loves-tits

And God said, "That's good."

The Winner of the Tiffany vs. Debbie Gibson Fight Is… My Dick, 20 Years Ago

Classic? It hasn’t even aired yet!

via IO9:

In what arena did this epic confrontation take place, you ask? Only the Thunderdome of quality entertainment that is the SyFy network. They’ve gone and produced a little movie called  Mega-Python vs. Gatoroid, maybe you’ve heard of it? (And no, to answer your question, gatoroid is not a reptilian form of rectal inflammation.)

You really must click on the IO9 link and watch the high quality vid in all its sensual glory. If you grew up in the 80′s, your dick will thank you. Because not only do the former child pop stars get their cat fight on- but pies are involved. PIES! Only in my dreams could a soft-core fantasy of this magnitude occur (until now, that is.) It’s like my pubescent libido got into a time machine and traveled to an inevitable future where both singers were desperate for money. I know the gals already posed nuders for Playboy, but times must really be tough if you answer the phone when SyFy calls.

Debbie Gibson naked

Tiffany naked

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