Step roll aside, Stephen Hawking, there’s a new sheriff in genius town, and his name is Kirk Cameron! He was appointed by God (IE: self-appointed) and carries a banana on his hip, just in case you decide to get ornery. It is perfectly formed to fit his hand, and contains three shots of potassium infused righteousness for anyone foolish enough to practice their scientific witchcraft out in the open.
From The Guardian UK:
A belief that heaven or an afterlife awaits us is a “fairy story” for people afraid of death, Stephen Hawking has said.
“I regard the brain as a computer which will stop working when its components fail. There is no heaven or afterlife for broken down computers…”
Oh no he didn’t!
Enter Mike Seaver, super christian, because the almighty God needs washed-up actors to protect him from crippled bullies.
Cameron tells us, “Professor Hawking is heralded as ‘the genius of Britain,’ yet he believes in the scientific impossibility that nothing created everything and that life sprang from non-life.”
You know, instead of believing in the scientific impossibility that life is the product of an all-powerful creator that itself had no beginning. That’s much more plausible (and provable!)
He adds, “Why should anyone believe Mr. Hawking’s writings if he cannot provide evidence for his unscientific belief that out of nothing, everything came?”
I’m no scientist, but I’m pretty sure there was a little something called “The Big Bang,” which there is plenty of scientific evidence for (as opposed to the complete lack of empirical evidence provided for intelligent design. Sorry, bananas.) As for “something” springing from “nothing,” science has been pretty upfront about not knowing what preceded The Big Bang, yet you don’t see them making up fairy stories to fill in the blanks.
And then there’s this, the most homoerotic proof of God’s existence ever:
By that rationale, according to the top comment:
Bananas are perfectly shaped to fit in your ass, god must had meant for us to sodomize each other with them
Out of the mouths of babes!
Then that capricious little imp called FACTS has the audacity to piss in Kirk’s holy eye. It’s not as good as the anus argument, but it works:
These morons don’t even realize that the modern banana has been genetically engineered and came from a mutant or evolved strain of the plantain. The original plantain does not fit so well into your hand and wasn’t even easily edible.
Your move, Kirk. Your move.