…and proceed to rock my balls off. But Dysrhythmia don’t rock balls in the typical fashion- for there is nothing typical about this band. What they do is swim up your urethra like the dreaded candiru, gestate in your testicles, and then burst forth from your scrotum like a chest-hugger, splattering blood and seminal fluid all over the unsuspecting hipsters inhabiting Brooklyn’s Union Pool. That’s how they rock balls.
Dysrhythmia are one of the most technically proficient live bands I’ve ever seen. Colin Marston wields the six-stringed bass like a dwarf wields a battle axe, drummer Jeff Eber crunches rhythms like he probably crunches numbers in his day job, and Kevin Hufnagel’s hands move so fast and with such economy of motion, they look like they are vibrating. When the man shreds, he makes faces like he is simultaneously taking a shit and traveling through time. Dysrhythmia is a band that demands your respect.
Kanye takes a swig of the ole jerk juice
This whole Kanye/VMA thing has renewed interest in a couple of old posts of mine. Thanks for the traffic spike, D-bag.
“Single Ladies” A Thinly Veiled Euphemism For Butt Sex
Kanye, Lil Wayne, Jay-Z and Some Other Dude Get It On With Pregnant Chick At The Grammys
Posted in Celebrity Shit Heads, Criticism, Music, Television
Tagged Anal Sex, Beyonce, Butt Sex, Douchebaggery, Hennessy, Jerk Juice, Kanye West, MTV, Single Ladies, Taylor Swift, Time Travel, Video Music Awards
Haha, seriously though, this is the reason I’ll never have kids. Because God forbid they turned out like this, I’d have to shoot them execution style and then turn the gun on myself.
Personally, I blame the parents. Such severe acting out can only be attributed to one thing- an insipid home environment devoid of any creative influence. Most kids credit their parents with at least spinning a few Stones or Beatles records while they were suckling pups, but not these guys. They didn’t experience note one until some Juggalo0 introduced them to the diseased cock that is ICP and blew a toxic load in their ear. Ah, the desire to fit in.
If I could have foreseen suck jackassery, I totally would have went to school and become a time traveling abortionist. I’d be rich by now.
I know it’s like shooting fish in a barrel, but check out even more reasons to have a vasectomy in this humorous post over at METAL SUCKS.